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Why Your Life Isn’t Changing

by Jason on October 4, 2010

If you feel stuck, if you feel like you can’t live your life like you want because of your circumstances, then you are the person I want to address.  So many people I know think their lives can’t change.  They remain variably the same people recreating the same situations they don’t want to be in for most of their lives.  And yet, they don’t do anything about it.

If you are one of these people, then please listen carefully.  You may say you want your life to change.  You may feel like you don’t want to be in the circumstances that you’re in.  But if nothing is changing then you don’t really want to change.  You want something else more than you want change.  Let me repeat, if your life isn’t changing it’s because what you value the most is to NOT change.

For you, it may because you believe you can’t change.  You don’t feel there’s anything you can do.  You think you’re not in control.  Your boss won’t let you.  You don’t have time.  You have kids.  You don’t have the money.  Life gets in the way.  (Please list your excuses here.)  I had all of them too.

You can’t change your life and hold on to your perceptions of why your life can’t change.  These two concepts are mutually exclusive.  To change your life, you must be WILLING to change.  Willingness means you embody and experience what it is you know you should do.

Deep down you know you have potential.  You know you can do anything.  You know you can overcome anything.  You know that there’s no excuse, no circumstances, nothing that can hold you down.  And yet, you let these circumstances stop you from creating your life how you want.

You gotta see that there are other possibilities other than what you’re seeing.  But part of the reason you don’t is because it may seem too painful or frustrating to consider other options.  It may be something new or something you haven’t tried before.  You haven’t opened your mind to the possibilities of how to create change.

Let’s say you hate your job.  You want to change and get something where they treat you better and pay you better.  But you don’t want to leave this job because of the security it provides.  You say you want to change, but you don’t really.  If you’re not changing, then it’s because you value your security over changing jobs.  If you truly wanted to change your job, then it would be a higher priority on security, and therefore your decisions would be based upon changing jobs, not security.

You make your decisions from the highest priorities you have.  As long as change is not your highest priority, other priorities will win out over change.  To see what your priorities, notice where you spend your time, money and energy.  Notice what you think about consistently.  That’s what your priorities are.

Changing requires an openness to create and consider new options and the courage to follow those new options, even though it will disrupt the established order.  It may end up changing your whole life.  Or maybe just a little.  But you gotta be willing to change everything.  You can’t hold on to anything.  If you really want to change, then change has to be your highest priority.  If not, it will always be second fiddle.

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